Men are like taxicabs
"Men are like taxicabs. They can drive around all day picking up women. They can drive around with their VACANT light turned off and nothing you can do will make him turn it on. But then one day, he'll decide it's time to flick that light on for good for the next woman who wants to hop on for the ride."
-Carrie Bradshaw - Sex in the City
Well, my blog isn't about marriage, but its about men and the right fit- which consists of a careful combination of the right timing and the right person.
During my last few "relationship-ish" experiences, I dated people who were at a stage i n their life where they were still finding themself, often sorting out their insecurities, and establishing their foundation.If I fancied someone, I'd take initiative...gave a lot, cared a lot and at the end...hurt a lot. When I let someone in my life, either romantically or platonically, I take great joy in bringing them warmth and happiness. While I never expected anything in return (at least I don't think I did), it became apparent that the male in my life would comfortably take and take. It would take me a while untill I realised that giving was becoming draining more than a positive experience. It hurt that the effort was not being made on the other side, and it hurt that the person did not want to commit.
I've come to realise two things.
First, even if you are the perfect girl, if the guy isn't ready, he is not ready. A man will not change for you, he will change when he is ready to. Unfortunately some take longer than others, and some choose to never change at all. Many females have a tendency to hope idealistically that she will be the special one that will change him and push him to "see the light" and settle down. Not so much a reality I must say. Come to terms...it doesn't fit.
Second, if a guy likes you enough, he will make the effort. He will make time for you despite his busy schedule, he will return your calls and he will take initiative to see you. If he doesn't that probably means you are not his priority. That doesn't mean he is awful or an emotionless jerk, there are just other things he finds more important to focus and allocate his time and energy to - and you're not it. Once again, it just doesn't fit.
In this last year, I was smitten with someone I hardly knew. As an idealist and a dreamer, I let the "fantasy outlive the reality". I wished upon the stars that my belief in destiny would let fate take its course. Silly me, as I've realised that this is not the case. I've really learned that if you "fit" with someone, it will just happen naturally. There is nothing you can do to make someone like you more or have them see you as a priority. The effort will be made to build and maintain the relationship, and if its not, then *gulp* he just doesn't like you enough or its just not the right timing.
Cheers - To no more hopeless attempts at waving down taxicabs who don't have their light on and dreaming that they'll take you where you want to go.
-Carrie Bradshaw - Sex in the City
Well, my blog isn't about marriage, but its about men and the right fit- which consists of a careful combination of the right timing and the right person.
During my last few "relationship-ish" experiences, I dated people who were at a stage i n their life where they were still finding themself, often sorting out their insecurities, and establishing their foundation.If I fancied someone, I'd take initiative...gave a lot, cared a lot and at the end...hurt a lot. When I let someone in my life, either romantically or platonically, I take great joy in bringing them warmth and happiness. While I never expected anything in return (at least I don't think I did), it became apparent that the male in my life would comfortably take and take. It would take me a while untill I realised that giving was becoming draining more than a positive experience. It hurt that the effort was not being made on the other side, and it hurt that the person did not want to commit.
I've come to realise two things.
First, even if you are the perfect girl, if the guy isn't ready, he is not ready. A man will not change for you, he will change when he is ready to. Unfortunately some take longer than others, and some choose to never change at all. Many females have a tendency to hope idealistically that she will be the special one that will change him and push him to "see the light" and settle down. Not so much a reality I must say. Come to terms...it doesn't fit.
Second, if a guy likes you enough, he will make the effort. He will make time for you despite his busy schedule, he will return your calls and he will take initiative to see you. If he doesn't that probably means you are not his priority. That doesn't mean he is awful or an emotionless jerk, there are just other things he finds more important to focus and allocate his time and energy to - and you're not it. Once again, it just doesn't fit.
In this last year, I was smitten with someone I hardly knew. As an idealist and a dreamer, I let the "fantasy outlive the reality". I wished upon the stars that my belief in destiny would let fate take its course. Silly me, as I've realised that this is not the case. I've really learned that if you "fit" with someone, it will just happen naturally. There is nothing you can do to make someone like you more or have them see you as a priority. The effort will be made to build and maintain the relationship, and if its not, then *gulp* he just doesn't like you enough or its just not the right timing.
Cheers - To no more hopeless attempts at waving down taxicabs who don't have their light on and dreaming that they'll take you where you want to go.
posted by missamychan at 5:00 PM
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